Ephesians 5: 15-20 and John 6: 35 & 41-51
How do we handle our differences?
by Rev. David Coster
I am not too sure how many of you watch “24 Hours in A & E” on Bravo TV. Often Joy and I do. It is a very interesting programme that shows loss and love in a situation where, at times, the outcome may be quite uncertain.
One of the Consultants introduces the programme by saying, “You see the very best of people in this job.”
I suspect that Ministry in the Church is also a place where we see the very best of people and the very worst of people. Weddings and funerals bring out the very best in people and at times they can bring out the very worst.
I remember one wedding where a father walked his daughter down the aisle and when I went to show him to his seat by his ex-wife, he refused saying that there was no way he would sit with her. This was in front of the congregation. The father went and stood beside the organist, who was a fellow member of the Masonic Lodge.
At a funeral I officiated at, where a man had murdered a woman and then killed himself, I wondered whether the lady’s children would show up to his funeral as he had been like a father to them. I was about to start the funeral Service for him when the son and daughter of the lady he had murdered walked into the Chapel. I stopped and stood aside. The son and daughter walked up to the parents of the man, who had murdered their mother, and hugged them both. Together they sat through the Service grieving the loss of one whom they loved trying to understand and make sense of the deaths and their loss. Anything I said, paled into insignificance beside the action of the son and daughter of the lady.
Ministry has provided me with situations of great sorrow and joy. It has also presented me with situations of great difficulty. Difficulty not only between people but also between groupings within the church and with denominations of the church.
The question is how do we handle hurt and differences of opinion? How do we handle comments or opinions that may be hard for us to listen to?
Both of our readings for today raise these questions for us.
In the Gospel reading Jesus speaks to his disciples and others listening to him about he being “the bread which has come down from heaven.” Those listening to him, don’t know what he is talking about. They know him as the son of Joseph and Mary. How can he say he has come down from heaven?
(As a little aside, Bethlehem, where Jesus is born, means the “House of Bread.” Is Jesus making reference to this when he says, I am the bread come down from heaven?)
Jesus then goes on to speak of giving his own flesh and blood for them to eat and drink. This causes deep consternation. Is Jesus talking about cannibalism?
Speak about confusion reigning supreme!
Well, it wasn’t only the early disciples who had difficulty with this teaching of Jesus.
The early church was accused of three major heresies by the Romans. Atheism, incest, and cannibalism. The charge of atheism came from the Christian’s refusal to worship the Roman pantheon of Gods. The charge of incest came about because the early Christians referred to each other as brothers and sisters in Christ and the church as one family in Christ. The charge of cannibalism came about because the early Christians said in the Eucharist or communion that they were drinking the blood of Jesus and eating his flesh.
Roman Catholicism teaches transubstantiation. The substance of this teaching is that when the faithful drink the wine and eat the bread, they actually eat the flesh and drink the blood of Jesus. The heart of transubstantiation is the conversion of the substance of the bread and wine into the whole substance of the body and blood of Christ, with only the appearance of the bread and wine remaining (known as accidents).
Protestant theology didn’t accept this teaching. The heart of the Protestant position was that the bread and wine remained as bread and wine but through the communion meal or Lord’s Supper (as we know it) Jesus is present as if he were here in flesh and blood.
From early on in the church heresy (false teaching) was usually punished by confiscation of property or by excommunication from the church. Later, especially by the time of the Spanish Inquisition, which was mainly directed against the Protestant Reformation, death, often by burning at the stake, became a common means of punishment.
From our perspective, such cruelty seems abhorrent to be done in the name of Christ. But I wonder what future generations will think of what we do and believe today. Will they be as critical of us?
How then, do we handle differences of opinion, whether they be personal, theological, or political?
In a recent copy of the Bush Telegraph, Wayne Matheson, our Assembly Executive Secretary wrote on his reflections on the Royal Commission on Abuse in Care. He commented:
“A few years ago, I heard Rev Dr Geoff New, Principal of our Knox Centre for Ministry and Leadership, speak about pastoral ministry and family systems. I had a few takeaways from this. People react to one another in predictable and repeated ways or patterns. Invariably, those personal reactions and behaviours emerge from an underlying chronic and toxic anxiety that creates the overall culture of any group of people.
My thinking and further reading reminded me that, although individuals are always responsible for the abusive choices that they make, power abuse by an individual in the Church needs a social and structural context.
Abusers need a system to give them the power; at the very least, they need people who remain silent, who turn a blind eye.”
Today we heard Paul in his Letter to the Ephesians speak about the way we should treat each other, especially in the Church, the Body of Christ. But earlier on, in Chapter 4 Paul introduced this by saying to those early Christian
“ 25 What this adds up to, then, is this: no more lies, no more pretence. Tell your neighbour the truth. In Christ’s body, we’re all connected to each other, after all. When you lie to others, you end up lying to yourself.
26-27 Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.
29 Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.
30 Don’t grieve God. Don’t break his heart. His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for Himself. Don’t take such a gift for granted.
31-32 Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, and sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.”
In our humanity we are not always good at attempting to understand each other, to forgive each other, or to speak well of each other. Recently, in Parliament, Karen Chhour, one of the ACT members of Parliament was in tears saying that she no longer felt safe “in this place.” David Seymour, the Leader of the ACT Party has indicated to Gerry Brownlie, that he is showing favouritism to some and not taking the concerns of the ACT Party seriously.
Parliament is one of those places which seems to bring out the best and the worst in the behaviour of people. It is a place where respect for differences of opinion and concern for the well-being of all is not always evident.
Sadly, that has also been to case for the Church, the Body of Christ. Rather than recognising our oneness and unity in Christ, we often have focused on our differences and what we have a gripe about rather than celebrating our unity and concern for each other. General Assembly is one of the Courts of the Church where this winner-takes-all all approach can be most evident. But even at a Congregational level members can get their “knickers in a twist” over relatively minor matters and differences of opinion.
In this, we are not too different to the early church in Ephesus where the gentile (non-Jewish) members of the Church tended to look down on those who were Jewish converts.
Also, the dominance of husbands over their wives was an issue. He was the boss and she was there to serve him, was the prevailing attitude. Hang on says Paul, we are all part of the Body of Christ – look to him as your example and imitate him. Marriage is not about the dominance of one over the other, it is about love and mutual submission. And he goes on to say, that is how it should be in the Church also – we should love each other and show mutual submission, as people who imitate Christ.
Can we take those words of Paul to heart and show them in all our relationships with each other, whether inside the Church or outside of it; “Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, and sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.”?
If only we put those words of Paul into action what a far better place this world would be to live in.
To God be the glory. Amen